I loved you, I did. We fought more than most but I was still hoping we would get through it. Even after you called me a bitch and a slut, a few times too many, or when I let my emotions get the best of me. The truth is, the relationship was toxic. The core of our foundation was built on lies, manipulation, control and revenge. I lost a huge part of myself, causing me to fall deeper and deeper into depression and to start having anxiety attacks. My self esteem wasn’t existent. You didn’t bring out the best in me. I was becoming mentally ill and cried every single day. I made mistakes, I know that I am far from perfect, but regardless, I never deserved all the things you did to me. I should have left years ago but I was to weak and the little girl in me was to naive. I thought this was how a normal relationship is suppose to be between loved ones. Little did I know that it was the worst kind of love that I can possibly ask for. I was stuck. Every time I tried to leave, you would convince me otherwise. You would say that things would get better. They did for a few days or weeks but then it would get worst. I finally got the courage to leave and this was the best decision I ever made. I feel stronger than I ever did. I still fall apart and work through my pain at times, but it’s my work in process. Never will I let someone affect me like you did, ever again. I love me and I don’t need the love of a significant other to make me feel empowered or confident. I did lose a lot throughout the years of being with you but I gained the strength I never knew I had in me.
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